well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
