Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
