I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Of course I have a pirate flag
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize