420 ftw
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
