it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
