I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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