all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
