at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
