Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
