Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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