His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
