so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
