i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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