Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
