I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize