Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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