Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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