UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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