that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
