I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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