It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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