youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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