Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
