and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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