Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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