Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
