Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize