I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
