My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
