Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
