But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
