Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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