i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize