No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
