is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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