Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
