party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
