Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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