do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize