It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
