You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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