I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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