I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
