I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
