I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
