Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
