Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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