a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The Olympian is in my bed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
