what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
