She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
