explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
