jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
