My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
