i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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