Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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