she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize