I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize