think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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