I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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