Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
