I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
