"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
