it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
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