I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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