took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
