I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
